Ann Arbor, MI

A long needed recovery and return to the world of modern conveniences awaited me at Will's apartment after camping in the Electric Forest. My first strategic maneuver was to remove the layers of crusted dirt and sweat accumulated from the multiple days of dancing in the dusty venue. The water ran literally brown off of my body for the first dozen seconds of showering. It was without question one of my top three bathroom experiences. The next order of business was shaving my beard which had been growing unattended for a few weeks. I emerged a new man after my banal yet newly appreciated hygiene rituals and collapsed on Will's bed. Thirteen hours later, refreshed and revitalized, I explored Ann Arbor in my usual manner, taste-buds first. Based on several people's recommendations I stopped at one the town's culinary hot spots, Krazy Jim Blimpie's Burgers. 


Now this, ladies and gentlemen, was not your average burger joint. For starters, there was a certain unwritten ordering etiquette, that was vaguely reminiscent of the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. I had to stand in line, grab a tray for dine in, look directly at the cook and ordered in the following sequence without deviation. Fried side dishes must be ordered first. Then burger orders begin with number of patties (literally any number of 1.6 ounce patties), type of bun (regular, kaiser, onion, or pumpernickel), grilled toppings (mushrooms, onions, banana peppers, olives fried egg, salami, and/or bacon)  and finally which type of cheese you would like (swiss, american, blue, feta, cheddar or provolone). Last, when my burger was ready for non grilled toppings, I slid down to the ordering counter and began with wet toppings (mayo, mustard, etc) ending with veggies. Two other restrictions applied to the ordering protocol: no cell phones in line and I was prohibited from saying anything I didn't want on me burger. Blimpies and its staff lived only in the affirmative. If for any reason, a person cannot follow these very simple steps, then her or she faced back talk from the chef and public ridicule from other patrons. I made it through the ordering gauntlet and walked away victorious with a triple on a kaiser with grilled mushrooms, onions, banana peppers, olives, fried egg, swiss, mayo, mustard, ketchup, tomatoes, regular onions and lettuce. BOOM! When I plowed into my burger - and I mean plowed literally because the burger's girth permitted only a mechanical shoving motion towards the face - I was hit with a delectable medley of flavors. Grilled onions and peppers, collided with cool tomatoes and lettuce mixing the bacon and swiss flavors. They all became holistically united under the burger banner captained by the oh-so-juicy patties. Touche Jim Blimpie. By the time the last few bites were left, they needed to be shoveled into my mouth as the kaiser roll had disintegrated under the torrent of drippings that escaped up to that point. I found a fun video on youtube about Blimpie's that gives you a good sense of the place: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCr8WX61FAc

The next day, Will told me that I needed to go to Zingerman's Deli before I left Ann Arbor, and he promptly escorted me to the premises without waiting for my response. Zingerman's, a hybrid deli and high-end food store became the object of my eternal culinary lust for a single simple fact: anything for sale in the store can be sampled for free. That's right, anything. Want to taste a fifty dollar bottle of eight year-old balsamic vinegar from modena Italy? Done. Not sure if it's worth spending the extra money on homemade marshmallows? You can try both the vanilla and the chocolate to make sure you don't miss out. Afraid the bread you're considering purchasing has gone stale? You can have a slice just to be sure it's safe. Not only were all the store wares just an "excuse me" away from hitting my taste-buds, the abundant and friendly staff were more than happy to tell me all about the products: their history, how to best enjoy them, and what else I might like with them. In most cases, I didn't even need to ask the staff, as soon as I made eye contact with them, I had a sampling spoon in my hand and had just received a crash course in the finer points of assessing the quality of an olive oil. I nearly had a full meal as I drifted from the artisan cheeses to the African honeys to wood oven baked breads and everything in between. If Mr. Zingerman ever decided to open up a location in San Francisco, he could conquer the the city in under a week.

As a closing note, I would like to apologize for the lack of pictures from Ann Arbor. I was a little fried from the music festival in Rothbury I had attended and forgot to bring my camera with me on most of my adventures.